On the Psychology of Eating
Everything we eat is a matter of power. The hungry person feels a void within, and they conquer it by eating well. There are groups of people who view the hungriest among them as their leader. As long as he can eat his fill, they are assured that they won't suffer from hunger either. This clearly shows the connection between digestion and power. Even if he does not eat the most, he must always have the most of everything: the most livestock, the most grain. If he desires, he could always be the most gluttonous, but he gives this pleasure to his court.
Ruling groups have always enjoyed feasting together. Those who dine together show mutual respect for one another. This is evident in the way they distribute food. They strive to ensure the distribution is fair, without favoring anyone excessively. The bond among diners is strongest when they share the same animal and cut from the same bread. Their mutual respect means they will not consume one another. Everyone eats, their teeth may be visible, but they do not hunger for the other.
The essence of daily life in the family is created by the man, and the food is cooked by the wife for her husband. The strongest bond between them is the fact that the husband regularly eats his wife's cooking. Family life is most intimate where the family generally dines together. Those who can sit at the table have practically been admitted into the family. The central figure of this institution is the mother. The mother is the one who feeds her child with her own body. She nourishes the child with her flesh, then with her milk. For many years, she preserves this characteristic, and her thoughts revolve around what nourishment her child needs. The mother's passion is to feed, to see that the food benefits her child. It is as if she has two stomachs to attend to.
The view that digestion is the central process of power applies to the mother as well. The mother's power over her child during the child's early years is absolute, and the mother also has a strong drive to exercise this power. She enjoys the concentrated power she holds, and her strength against the small being is immense, something that does not occur in any other human relationship. Her rule is continuous, she can keep a living being captive for its own benefit. But unwittingly, she can also pass on what was previously burdened on her. The mother, in nurturing, grows, as if dealing with plants or animals. The child becomes a full human being, and the mother has added a person to the group she lives in, for which the group remains forever grateful. There is no more intense form of power than this. A family becomes rigid and cold if it excludes others from the community of the table. A family like this is "frugal for the children"—why should they care if others are hungry?
Modern people love eating in restaurants, at separate tables with their own small group. Even those with finer sensibilities do not concern themselves with the fact that everyone needs to eat, and they can easily step over those who are hungry. Those who eat feel heavier. They like to eat in a crowd because they can gain weight in front of everyone. This was originally not something to be ashamed of because large spoils had to be eaten quickly, and everyone ate as much as they could, carrying their food supplies in private. Those who eat alone forgo the respect they would otherwise receive from others for the same act. If they only snarl at the food, with no one seeing, it has no effect on anyone. Those who have teeth but do not show them are a little ascetic. Showing teeth during communal meals is a natural occasion. It is said that laughing is vulgar because when someone laughs, they open their mouth and show their teeth. It is certain that the origin of laughter lies in the joy that came from seeing secure spoils or food.
Elias Canetti "Tömeg és hatalom", Európa Könyvkiadó, Budapest, 1991